So it’s been a while since we last met but, meh. No excuses, no apologies.
A thing has occurred to me the past few days is the obtuse of rage I have against adverts. Today I will be sharing this with you with a list of my 7 most hated adverts, ranked in lists of how angry they make me feel:
7. Glade air fresher
What they cut off the end of the advert:
Mum: Well piss off to Pauls and don’t come back you little brat.
Anger rating: Throbbing vein on the forehead.
6. Gocompare.com
Audio abuse pure and simple, and the guy who even thought of using the “only a tenner / tenor” joke needs a kick in the mouth.
Anger rating: Clenched fist
5. Confused.com
This annoying piece of bum fluff is back in 2008 and was a regular discussion around our lunch table, from the achingly cheap cardboard set to the bottom of the barrel over pronounced acting. Pure misery for 30 seconds!
Anger Rating: Shaking fist at the TV
4. Envirofone.com
Oh god, they actually did the vox pop style. All ‘real’ people from a variety of races with a variety of accents, all ball achingly awful. My particular favourite is the WONGA guy; don’t you just want to smack him too?
Anger rating: A fistful of WONGA to the face, Mr marketing exec.
3. Wonga.com
On the subject of wonga, this advert is all so nice and friendly with the pastel shades and cutesy graphics it almost like they’re giving you a nice big hug. That’s until you notice a little ticker at the bottom: 2689% APR!
I’ll repeat that figure 2689% APR!!!
At least Dick Turpin was kind enough to wear a mask. For maximum disbelief they’ve loaded up some videos of their real customers and they say how much they love their service.
Bunch of flipping Wonga’s
Anger rating: Fist through the TV
2. webuyanycar.com
The original advert was craptacular enough with the 2d kiddie’s graphics but this took it to a whole level of awful. What were they thinking? A break dancing news reporter, this must be proof that marketers have no concept of reality anymore.
Anger Rating: Fist through the wall
1. musicmagpie.com
I never thought anything would top how much I hate webuyanycar.com, as my friends know I have a special circle of hell arranged just for the people behind that advert. But this is aural torture, they should use this in the next Saw movie, nothing jigsaw could do would defeat this in cruelty. I almost threw something at the TV to shut up that damn airborne disease carrier. I doubt anything will ever manage to beat this but I’ll be sure to let you know if anything does!
Anger rating: Fist through own head to stop the torture.
Well there you go; my top 7 most annoying bits between the shoes (or as I like to call them, the longer adverts). Please don’t give any money or trade to these companies until they stop!
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